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Goodbye Erle & Crafting Mantis

Good morning and welcome to another brutal honest entry. Over the past several days I’ve been having ups and downs in my professional life and in my personal life. My aspirations will not be quilled because of my inability to do something. I consider myself very fortunate when it comes to being a person who has cerebral Palsy, I am very confident of my abilities I am very confident in who I am and I do not particularly focused on my “disadvantages or inabilities”. I don’t consider myself a person with a disability because I am able to do so much when I meet people and they get to know me, It is very crystal-clear and I am very capable of doing pretty much whatever the fuck I want to do. Anyway, The title of this entry is kind of interesting because it shows you what kind of day I had on Monday-I was supposed to meet a “longtime friend” for lunch who I had originally met online, a place called #MeetMe formerly known as #MyYearbook. I have been a member of that community off and on since September 2009 and I have made some very “good friendship” with some people who I like and you really talk to a lot of them is online communication, I rarely actually “meet in person” unless there is a potential for a relationship or a friendship of someone who is local to me. So anyway I was supposed to meet this guy for lunch on Monday and he and I were talking on the phone a lot on Sunday texting etc. and it was his suggestion that we meet for lunch the next day. Of course I said yes because I felt at the time that I could pretty much trust him to do what he said. So I get to the mall and it was my regular mall day I go to pick up bicycle number one and I have friends all over the mall campus so I was able to stash the bike at a store for the entire time I was supposedly going on this “first meet”. We were supposed to meet at noon and figure out where we wanted to go for lunch mind you we would be staying on campus-so I was standing in line waiting to purchase and I texted him to see where he was because at that time it was probably 20 minutes till noon. I later realized that his phone was off and my messages were ringing straight to voicemail. Yes I thought it was odd that he was not picking up the phone but yet he was texting with me. At one point during our random sporadic communication he asks me what I’m wearing honey also asked to reschedule the meeting greet for a later time at in later in the day. I should’ve put two into together but I didn’t my gut feeling says he was on campus he was watching me and even though we have “Known of each other” for a good four years plus he was not going to be found and probably wasn’t answering the phone because he was in my radius and he didn’t want to be overheard. Moral of this crazy story is that Steve did not show up in my presence and was not man enough to meet face-to-face now if you saw me and didn’t like what he saw that is not my problem I do not have very many complaints about myself. He is “known me” long enough to know about my little quirks and differences and the fact that he did not have the brass balls to show up and say hello it’s absolutely 100% immature and inexcusable. So you can stay in Wilmington Delaware and live your own life in your basement with your parents and your $10,000 in debt.
I have obviously spoken about my two bicycles in a recent post on my bicycle crafting blog but I need to explain everything about it now. Since April or March I have been saving up money to buy myself a little bit of independence I don’t want much but I want something I can tool around town in or on. And I thought I found that in a Huffy Cruiser. But unfortunately I was once again misled. I was misled to believe that I can buy a regular run of the mill one speed bicycle and adapt it into a tricycle by using what they call a stabilization kit. But upon further research into this stabilization device we come to find that it is not what it seems to be what it appeared to be marketed for. It is in fact a device that you put on the back of a regular bicycle and it “stabilizes” The bike so that the human can learn to balance and ride a bicycle. Problem is that it is not intended for permanent appendage which is what I would need I would need something that I could have on my bike indefinitely. And with that said I am very disappointed that I’ve spent so much money on this project which is supposed to give me my “freedom to fly”. So Tuesday I returned the beautiful bicycle that I purchased the day before and went home with my receipt in hand pending a refund to my credit card and with what funds I had leftover purchased an adult tricycle. Which was what I had intended to do in the first place but somewhere along the line I was given the impression that I could do the same thing possibly cheaper if I did it myself the other way. Monday was disenchanting deflating and an utter disaster as the bracelet on my wrist says “never give up” it is my Martin Truex Junior foundation bracelet. Mind you I need a new one I still believe in the “never give up”. With my newest bike on the way to Walmart be available Monday I should be getting exercise starting Tuesday or Wednesday so it should be fun just like I was planning to do with the other bike I am intending on pimping it out a little bit. Bells whistles mirrors phone holder etc. I am also looking forward to getting back into the crafting world with crochet-I just started that I cannot spend all day long online looking for things to write about even though it is fun it is time-consuming and somewhat nauseating when all you see is negative news now with all the police involved shootings with all the ambushes on my police officers I am getting downright fed up with my country and the lack of leadership by the White House they are turning my country into a fucking hellhole. I cannot stand that the president is less then apologetic less then emotional less than condemning about all these homegrown terrorist activity that is otherwise known as black lives matter. While they do and every other life matters also the life of a first responder is one that is very precious for these civil servants to put their lives on the line every fucking day for us the civilian/citizen. I’ve absolutely had enough of posting pieces on the subject. With regard to my crocheting endeavor-I’ve done some knitting in the past and I enjoy the productivity part the calming aspect the creative aspect. The reason I chose crochet this time is because I am very active with My furkid and she is very pause on with me so I can crocheting is going to be an easier task I won’t have to worry about her unraveling a stitch or derailing the entire project. My plan is to start small with something somewhat complicated but I don’t know if I’m going to be selling my creations or if I’m just going to give them away. Or there’s the other option of keeping them all for myself which is a very good possibility. With regard to relationship and personal life I’m not afraid to carry-on with new people I’m not afraid to meet new people I just despise being lied to being taken advantage of so with that said I’m going to end this entry and go focus on my creative side on Pinterest go look at different patterns ideas etc. and also focus on finding what I need for the bike. I will check back in later.

CXP
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