💜🌈 CitizenPressDog 🌈💜

Hello friends! I’m currently sitting in my apartment, which is nestled in the basement of my house. Right now, I’m enjoying some YouTube university while knitting, and I’m also reflecting on mental health—how it shapes my experiences and those of the people around me.

If you had asked me to share my thoughts like this last year, I wouldn’t have been able to; my mind was overwhelmed by various events and environments. But now, as I knit in peace, I fully appreciate the solitude I have, allowing me to interact with my family on my own terms. Although my family is small, my connections with my dog and my mom are meaningful and fulfilling. I do chat with my uncle, but our conversations are limited because we both navigate life differently due to our neurodivergence. I’m increasingly aware of my own neurodivergence and have learned to manage things in a way that works for me.

The decision to move to the basement was prompted by my mental health needs, and I find comfort here. This space holds deep significance for me; it was my dad who finished this basement, transforming it into a livable area. Although I know it may not seem like much to others, being in a quiet environment that connects me to my past brings me joy. My dad, the man I call my dad, raised me from the age of 7 until his passing. Those years were turbulent, and I’ve had to block out certain memories, particularly related to my biological father, who was abusive in many ways. He passed away in 2023, and I learned about it through an online search—my stepmother didn’t even acknowledge me in the obituary, which was frustrating. It’s remarkable how people will comment on someone’s character without knowing the whole story. My biological father was not a good person, and I have no problem stating that.

I plan to discuss my experiences with my biological father in a future post, but for now, I’m focused on my neurological disorder. I had a conversation with my mom about the connection between my autism and my tendency to be a homebody. I prefer staying in, especially during bitterly cold weather or the chaotic holiday season. Being in my basement allows me to control my environment and the interactions I have. Here, I can think clearly without outside distractions.

I’ve come to terms with my anxiety and the short fuse that has occasionally accompanied it. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I now embrace my space and the peace it brings.