💜🌈 CitizenPressDog 🌈💜

I’ve been writing a lot lately, and it’s been incredibly helpful. So here comes another round of thoughts from my mind. As I lie in bed in my apartment with the light on, I reflect on some past dreams and goals. I once thought I wanted to live in a tiny house or an RV. I even considered relocating to a different city or state. But now, I’ve realized that my comfort zone is right here in my basement apartment that my dad finished.

My dad has played a huge role in my life, and I appreciate him more than I can express. On the other hand, my biological was an absolute nightmare. From age 7 to around 30, my stepdad, who I call Dad, raised me. At 18, I legally changed my last name, which definitely shook my biological. I stopped visiting them at 16 because it was emotionally and mentally draining, and there are aspects of that experience I prefer to keep private.

When my biological father passed away in 2023, I was initially shocked to be left out of the obituary. But honestly, I felt a sense of relief too—I didn’t want to be associated with him anymore. That’s part of why I’ve embraced my rebellious side. I’m proud to be my own person, to think for myself and express my thoughts freely.

I used to dream about living in a cozy cabin in the woods with just Wi-Fi, my knitting, my makeup (which I haven’t worn in a while), and my dog. There was a time when I wanted to be anywhere but here, but I’ve come to understand that this is where I truly belong. Sometimes, I do get frustrated that I’m not further along in life for my age, but I recognize that my neurological disorder has shaped my journey, and perhaps my purpose lies in supporting my family, and what’s left of it.

I have countless ideas and dreams swirling in my head about living in different places and times, but right now, life is undeniably good. If I find a partner who matches my energy, that will be exciting, but for now, I’m embracing my independence in my own space.