Weekly Rambles Of A Groundhog

ย Good morning and happy Super Bowl Sunday/Groundhog Day. I have been having many thoughts going through my head today yesterday and the day before. Some of which is very frustrating from things that Iโ€™ve learned from past relationships. And youโ€™re damn straight Iโ€™m gonna dump it. I found out some things that very much bother me from my first official relationship and it is infuriating me Because it has to do with something I have zero control over. I donโ€™t give two shits what I do I wonder the bus because this blog is about my mental health and right now there is a chink in the fence. I found out that my gut instinct from the family of my former fiancรฉ was true and I am very very angry about it because I cannot stand people like that who discriminate. I know it was 10+ years ago but to find it out now really fucking hurts. Because I am โ€œdisabledโ€œ they did not find my relationship with their son worthy enough they did not approve of my being in the family they didnโ€™t give two shits that we love each other. There are things that I cannot do because of my โ€œdisabilityโ€œ but there are things that I can do-I pose the question to different ways and the reply was โ€œbut they didnโ€™tโ€œ for some reason I feel like it doesnโ€™t matter that this past situation bothers me and right now โ€“ this is why I am sometimes frightful of trusting anyone.ย  It is shameful on the parental units that they are so close-minded. Now that I have released the aggregation and annoyance of the latest personalized news, I can move on until the next shoe of frustration appears. This morning I did some much needed retail therapy even though I spent more than originally planned. I got my intended affirmation cards and tarot cards along with a purpose candle. The stories I shared this morning weren’t what I was expecting to post especially when it came to Shannen Dohertyโ€™s health. She’s a very strong woman for working through the illness to honor Luke Perry. Even though the article claims that the only castmate she confided in was Brian Austin Green. I was just cruising the interwebs I saw a comment about Luke and wonder if he was also in the know. Anyway, itโ€™s a few days past the last time I updated and I wanted to get this entry published. Even before I started studying the craft I was obsessed with aromatherapy -specifically for the past 4 years or so – I truly believe in the amazing benefits of different scents. I’ve always loved tropical scents because it takes me back to my island life. Something that certainly misses. So thankful for my eclectic mix of friends from every walk of life. Reading the news about the clergy and others who have been accused of misconduct in whatever fashion makes me feel like I am on the right path spirituality. I was commenting on aromatherapy before I went random. I love the different types of scents that help with the energy and chakras etc even if you do not burn candles or incense sometimes the scent is powerful enough to make a difference in the dwelling. I know that I benefit from the changed atmosphere. As my path continues I think I am going to expand my knowledge of the other realms of religious freedom. Thatโ€™s one of the many benefits of being eclectic, I can study whatever I want and learn from different aspects. So Iโ€™m going off into another ramble because itโ€™s just how it goes with me. Iโ€™m definitely concerned about Shannen Dohertyโ€™s newly announced return of cancerโ€ฆ In fact, when I purchased my incense cones the other day, I donated to Spencers cancer fund. There are two books that Iโ€™m interested in & crazy enough I don’t have a picture image in my head. Today though I did adopt two new palmstones, Finally got my goldstone & my hematite- my goldstone has namaste inscribed. Enough rambling for now so I must return to study hall.ย 

Frustration Station

Ok so I had been having a pretty good upswing of mood for the past few days but I, unfortunately, lost the good energy this evening when there was one of the attitude flairs from a housemate who has a serious problem from time to time with sharing or do I dare go as far as saying being curious. There have been times where I feel like I have not lived up to the full potential even though I feel like I am where I am supposed to be in a way, I really feel like I am missing out on some of the greatest things. I have traveled and had relationships in the past but as I sit here I feel like there is something more out there. In other news, I am looking forward to the 2020 NASCAR season this year because there is just something about automobile racing. It’s the final season for Jimmie Johnson and me kind of wish he would take Kyle Busch with him. As for Nascar tributes, Bubba Wallace will have a scheme to honor John Andretti along with the souls lost on January 26th. Right now, I still have angry blood running through my veins. Hopefully, Saturday and Sunday will be better. Good night

ReWrite Of Crazytrain

Dear Friends, I had been in the process of uploading a lengthy blog when it evaporated & I was rather frustrated as it was quite detailed from my thought process over the past few weeks. Nothing upsets me more than losing a document that I’ve worked on for a long time. It was all my anxiety-ridden thoughts. If I can remember a few things, I had been frustrated with a smorgasbord of bullshit happening in Facebook groups, specifically my witchcraft teaching/instructional covens. I am very lucky to have my author friends who I can lean on when necessary, I’ve learned that there are some in the Wiccan/Pagan community who are not so understanding of the Neurodivergent learning process. So anyhow, I don’t like being lied to, etc, so I left the group, coincidentally I found a new to me group that focuses more on spells, crystals, etc. I haven’t posted as of yet but did comment. It’s nice to know that there are some other neurodivergent learners. In recent weeks, there’s been some crazy stuff happening in the celebrity world along with the big bad nasty world. Between the bullshit politics and crazy terrorism all over the map. There is one incident in particular that upset me was a now-deleted comment on twitter from Halsey. She was born after the first World Trade Center attack – Her most recent release got negative reviews from a music critic whose offices are located in the basement is located in the new world trade center – the tweet was washing that the building in which housed the agency would collapse! Excuse me, lil ignorant bitch, you just called for the WTC to collapse again- OMG, was I outraged because I have personal ties to WTC-2001. Any apologies made by Halsey aren’t good enough for me since she’s from New Jersey. The bigger story of the week is going to take over 2020, the untimely and tragic passing of Kobe Bean Bryant. I remember the first breaking news of the aircraft down in Calabasas, my first thought was who the fuck would be flying under such awful weather conditions. During my initial thoughts, I didn’t necessarily think it was a celebrity involved aircraft accident. The first outlet to pick up the story was TMZ, and I waited for a few other outlets to break until I posted the article. I am still keeping tabs on the story and posting whatever is waranted. Back a few weeks ago I got an erroneous report from LA Fitness that I was supposedly back to the dangerous pre-diabetic stage of life because of my BMI level. Well according to my dr, I am in perfect health with all good levels of everything, there’s zero chance of LAF being able to know jackshit about diabetic levels w/o doing a blood test which I thought I was getting yesterday- thankfully unnecessary. All the more reason, I am happy that I have my home gym. I don’t have all the big expensive fancy equipment, but I have yoga equipment and weights which are amazing. Anyway, the rest of my day is going to be spent working on my various projects. Come February, I have the intention of starting to conserve my money, only buying the necessary items.

Hello 2020

Good Morning, in between holidays I am finding the time to write the final entry of the year. I know that I don’t have a set pattern of blogging except for making certain that I have a daily post. I do not always have the greatest pool of material to choose from but that’s because I am kind of choosy on what I select to share. Some bloggers tend to get everything posted on many stories regardless of the feeling they get from the story. I do not feel like risking my mental health just to publish. Anyhow, I have been very content with my life as of late, because I have been studying witchcraft and exploring other religions because I have decided to have an open mind about the human race. Just like apples, each profession, race, and religion there are definitely some rottens. I have learned that there are many holidays that are money-driven if I want to get a gift for a loved one then I am going to – I don’t want to be told what to do on the account of a holiday. With that said, I know that I am not alone when I say that the holidays are not the same as they once were if you have lost a loved one. As I am typing this portion, there’s a helicopter flying overhead. I have been keeping up with the Drone post on NextDoor and it seems like the unidentified drone is all over the place geographically. Itโ€™s a few days later and in fact, itโ€™s the new decade &things are going well now- I got my 2020 wishlist complete of the things that I knew were necessary. Sitting here on the Yoga Balance, Iโ€™m watching television- Christmas & New Yearโ€™s were mostly quiet & peaceful. We have new neighbors up the street who are apparently as ignorant as the previous when it comes to fireworks in a residential setting. Unlike previous events, I didnโ€™t call the police cause I wasnโ€™t in the mood to spoil the new neighborโ€™s holiday. Spending the first of the year watching television & working on knitting projects. Blessed I am to have good friends & family even though much of my socializing is online. Relationship wise I am currently single & having funโ€ฆ Fun meaning that I am not going to settle with just anyone. In fact, I havenโ€™t had an authentic relationship in years because I havenโ€™t found somebody whoโ€™s worth my commitment. About the rainbow, I am a supporter of the LGBTQ community, I am a part of it? I wonโ€™t really go that far to answer the question right now because Iย  honestly donโ€™t know- I love all people for who they are, I havenโ€™t found my person of current. I definitely prefer men over women but I love a person for who they are. The personality of the person matters more to me. Another side of the rainbow is the Autism spectrum & that is something I am certain of. My witchy side is something else I am certain of and I donโ€™t care what people think, I also donโ€™t appreciate people talking down to me especially when thereโ€™s not supposed to be any judgment or negativity in the witchy world. With all that said, I am going to go do some reading & socializing. Blessed Be & love to all.